


streetlight

by stayforthestray



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, inspired by changbin's skz-player, they're just lost boys who found each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 06:00:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24249934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stayforthestray/pseuds/stayforthestray
Summary: seo changbin and bang chan fall in love under a streetlight.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Seo Changbin
Comments: 3
Kudos: 22





	streetlight

**Author's Note:**

> i just randomly wrote this while listening to changbin's player. i feel like it gives off the same vibe

_streetlight oo._

it hurts to be alone  
it always hurts  
i have no one  
it hurts

it's not easy to be different  
gay? disgusting  
anxiety? overreacting  
depression? _just be happier  
_ when you're different, no one understands you

_but he did_

_streetlight i._

he was there, he always was  
but i never talked to him  
he looked familiar, i assumed he was from the neighborhood  
and if he was from the neighborhood  
then he'd heard of me

_everyone had_

seo changbin, the failure son  
seo changbin, the homosexual  
seo changbin, the attention seeker

if he'd heard these things  
he definitely wouldn't want to talk to me  
because no one does

_but he did_

**_"hi, you wanna sit?"_ **

_streetlight ii._

we were friends, _or at least i thought so  
_ i never really could tell what he thought  
he was closed off like that  
but he started to open up

he didn't smile much  
neither did i  
we didn't talk much either  
just sat together

the silence wasn't heavy  
it was freeing  
it felt good to have someone on my side  
even if he never said it, he understood me

somehow, the silence between us  
said more than we could ever have  
he didn't talk to me

_until he did_

**_"you're changbin right? i'm chan."_ **

_streetlight iii._

we fell into a routine  
it was always the same  
me and him on that bench  
 _just us_

but something was different that day  
i didn't realise what it was at first  
but then i looked closer

_he had headphones with him_

i was confused  
i didn't know why he had them  
but i didn't ask

he didn't mention his headphones  
we just talked  
like we always did

_but then he handed them to me_

**_"would you like to listen to my music?"_ **

_streetlight iv._

he was talented  
 _incredibly talented  
_ his music was amazing

the lyrics were in english  
but i still understood  
it just made sense

he made sense

he told me something no one did  
that it's okay not to be okay  
that i wasn't the only one struggling

but there was _something else  
_ i felt something for him  
but i was too scared to explore it

i got lost in thought

he tapped my shoulder  
i thought he looked nervous

_he took a deep breath_

**_"i have to tell you something. i'm gay."_ **

_streetlight v._

he really did understand me  
he knew how i felt  
 _because he'd felt it too_

he helped me be _okay_ again  
but he didn't look okay that day

he was shaking  
his hands were in tight fists  
his face was white  
and his breaths were shallow

i felt it again  
and that's when i realised

 _love  
_ _i was in love_

i was reeling  
he put a hand on shoulder  
it was grounding  
he helped me 

_he smiled nervously_

**_"tomorrow, i'll tell you something. promise you won't laugh?"_ **

_streetlight vi._

i was scared  
who wouldn't be in my situation?

 _i couldn't help it  
_ my thoughts took over me  
they filled my head  
so tangled that i couldn't think

he didn't look angry  
just scared  
 _like me_

my mind ran away  
i couldn't make my brain work  
but he made it better  
 _he always did_

but i couldn't help but feel   
that after today  
he wouldn't any more

we were both just _lost children  
_ i couldn't think of what i'd do if i lost him

_he bit his lip, refusing to meet my eyes_

**_"i think i've fallen in love with you"_ **

_streetlight vii._

i know i said something  
but i can't remember what  
i said it without thinking

i do remember something though  
a word that he said

_question_

i was just a week ago  
that we met  
but it seems so much longer

somewhere in that week  
the emptiness was filled  
i learnt to smile  
 _and i fell in love_

and now i knew   
it was the same for him

he looked happy today  
his smile reached his eyes  
seeing him so happy  
it made me feel better

 _question  
_ the word kept repeating in my head  
at that moment  
 _i understood what it meant_

i waited  
and it came

_he asked me the question_

**_"seo changbin? would you be my boyfriend?"_ **

_streetlight fin._

it doesn't hurt anymore  
it never hurts  
i have bang chan  
it doesn't hurt

**Author's Note:**

> i genuinely hope this isn't absolute shit... pls leave comments bcs im a sad insecure lil shit and i thrive off of validation
> 
> twt chanlixsparkles  
> cc straykitten


End file.
